In Your Name
by Verna-S
Summary: Takasato Kaname goes to jail for his crimes. Will he ever remember what he is?
1. One

**"In Your Name" **

Disclaimer: The Twelve Kingdoms belong to Fuyumi Ono and er, Mediablasters. This is a fan work which is in no way intended for profit.

_(A/N: This 'fic is a sort of "what if" situation.... The result is sort of like a Crossover with Camus' The Outsider and the movie In the Name of the Father.... this is not how the novels end! This is just something I wrote for fun to tide me over while the translations come out! If you want to find out what really happens to Taiki, go to and visit Harunako's translation site--see my bio for the link. He is a wonderful human being and we all must go to the forums to give him encouragment so he'll keep on going!)_  
  
**Chapter One**  
  
Takasato couldn't help but feel as he sat through another day of trial that he had become some kind of zombie; rising to give answers and sitting down again. Up and down, up and down, like a paper-mache marionette. The lawyer for the prosecution asks the jury, does this boy seem repentant to you? Does he even have the conscience to admit to his crimes? The words become a blur of meaningless sound, of little substance. He is called stubborn. His memory takes him back, and he remembers his grandmother had also called him that. Grandmother had also taught him never to lie, and he never had, even when he felt people wanted him too. Takasato Kaname is alone and distracted. By his feet he can see a puppy is playing with some fallen papers. Something tells him, the dog isn't really there. Tentatively, he examines his defence lawyer's expression. Rogata-san's forehead is beaded with sweat; the dog still frolicks in the corner of his eye. The high school student blinks several times, the light in the courtroom is bright and he finds it hard to focus. He looks again and the dog is gone.  
  
Hallucinations again. Maybe he did kill those people. Maybe he should be locked up.  
  
In fact, the more he thinks about it the more the notion appears to make a twisted sort of sense. Takasato had been raised to never think highly of himself; he knew people wanted him to pretend he cared about things but he could never bring himself to. He was a useless human being, a cursed individual. He was strange and ungrateful, disapearing as a child and causing distress to his family only to reappear again with no memory of where he'd been. A blinding pain seared his temple as he tried in vain to remember--but it was always the same. One minute, in the garden behind his house, in the next, naked and bleeding at the entrance to his grandmother's funeral. A feeling of overwhelming helplessness washed over him. He knew he somehow was the cause of all these peoples' despair. Each time it was the same--he never actually set out to hurt anyone, but somehow something knew and before he could take it back it was too late. Part of him thought this wasn't fair--all people had bad thoughts, didn't they?  
  
No! He was different. Always in the way, never of any help to anyone. He deserved to be put away. Then nobody would get hurt anymore.  
  
The verdict comes in.  
  
As he is led away, Takasato's mother can be heard sobbing. He isn't sure if it's in despair, or relief. He seeks her out, gives her a faint smile. There are many people from his classes in the audience--many more from school that he doesn't even know. As he smiles at his mother, he can hear some people whisper bad things about him. He can't make out their exact words, but he's pretty sure he hears the terms "deviant", "faggot" and "horrible." His face goes blank again and he follows the guards meekly. They had asked him about the nature of his relationship with the student art teacher. He had of course answered truthfully, although he didn't see what that had to do with anything. They accused him of deceiving Hirosei- sensei. Rogata-san had tried to turn it around, saying that it had been sensei who had taken advantage of him. Kaname had objected. They had been in love.  
  
Something hit him in the back of the neck. Whatever it had been, it was hard and damp. "Pervert!"  
  
Why look up?  
  
Some time later, a guard comes by. The boy shrinks back instinctively, his usual method of escaping.  
  
"Takasato, you've got a visitor."  
  
"Kaname!"  
  
The boy looks up from the ground where he is. "You again."  
  
"Takasato Kaname, you can't just let people do this to you! Don't you realize those things that happened aren't your fault? And the things they accused you of... the things they said about you and Hirosei-sensei, aren't you angry about that at all?"  
  
The former classmate remained on the floor, wrapped his arms around himself, a pathetic creature in the dust. His response came slowly and in a thick monotone as if he were speaking from behind a curtain meant to obscure his true expression, his feelings. "If tricking someone into loving me, like they say I did, is a crime, then their words must be true."  
  
The dark haired girl's face screwed into the very picture of rage. "Idiot! Don't you realize what you are? Don't you see by now that you're special?"  
  
One corner of the boy's mouth raised slightly and briefly raised his brown eyes to meet hers. "Maybe you should have been my defense lawyer."  
  
"You're beyond lawyers, don't you see? You don't even have to be here if you don't want to! Why won't you remember, Kouri? Why are you doing this to yourself?"  
  
The boy freezes. That name. It seems... familiar. And wrong somehow.  
  
Wrong....  
  
"You need to leave now," he says, sounding distressed for the first time, more distressed than he had been during the entire trial.  
  
"Wh--why? Kaname, I'm the only person in this world willing to visit you. Can't you see I'm trying to help?!"  
  
The former student stood shakily, pressing one hand on each ear, eyes wild. "No. I don't want to remember.... Please leave!"  
  
"I was there, too, you know, and I think I heard about you. I'm not sure but I think there are people who care about you and they're looking.... I have no way to contact them Kouri, but they're looking...."  
  
"You're... you're lying. Go away!"  
  
"It's your world I'm telling you about! How can you just tell me to...."  
  
"I SAID GO AWAY!"  
  
At this, all the lights in the bright hospital green corridor outside the cell where he was being held wavered and flickered on and off, the metal door beginning to bend. Huge scratch marks appeared on the front of the door menacingly close, centimetres away from where Yuuka stood. She backed away fearfully as a familiar shadow image appeared. She was prepared this time, though, and she had questions. If she was right, and these were Kaname's youma, she could talk to them, and maybe tell them to stop hiding themselves and help her to convince him of what he was, and that he needed to go home.  
  
Unfortunately, it was then that a guard, hearing the commotion, rushed up and brusquely intervened. He eyed the gigantic scratch marks and the recent warping of the cast iron cell door with no small amount of trepidation, but he quickly hid it.  
  
"You heard the man, lady, said the visit's over. Let's go."  
  
"But wait!! I'm not done telling him yet! He needs to know what he really is--"  
  
"Yeah, lady, I think I speak for all of us when I tell you the press'll be doing a great job'a that over the next few weeks."  
  
"You don't understand! He has magic! He doesn't belong here!"  
  
The guard snorted. "I swear, I don't know what it is with you chicks. Be a nice guy, lead an honest life, and nothin'. Seduce an innocent high school teacher and kill twenty people in cold blood and you'd think he was a bleedin' unicorn."

* * *

_So that's chapter one. Questions? Flames? Constructive criticism? Reviews, even violently angry ones, are most welcome! Oh, about Yuuka using the "Kouri" nickname: it's something that happens in Episode 13 in the dub (although in the sub she calls him Takasato Kaname)... I thought it implied she knew about his past even though he didn't, which is entirely different than how I felt when I watched that episode subbed. That influenced me to put her in here, although you guys are correct if you think her motivations may not be entirely pure. She's a weird girl. And yes, 20 people is just a random number I came up with... we need to wait for Rurata (a helper on Harunako's site) to finish translating Son of the Demon to find out how many people actually die because of Taiki... can't be too many, I hope. Never mind the fact that I know absolutely nothing of the legal system in Japan, hence the tv-style trial situation.... _


	2. Two

**"In Your Name"**

Disclaimer: The Twelve Kingdoms (Junni Kokki, or Junni Kokuki) belong to Fuyumi Ono and MediaBlasters. This is a fan work meant singularily for the amusement of other fans, and would never be used for profit.

**Chapter Two**  
  
There's a saying about jail, Don't Drop The Soap. Kaname does anyway, and reacts with calm indifference when another inmate decides to claim him. He is thrown roughly against the shower wall while the other prisoners laugh, warm water running down his naked body; they are about to do shameful things. The boy closes his eyes. This, he realizes, is part of his punishment. Because he deserves it.  
He opens his eyes again and all of the men are backing away. They look frightened. Kaname realizes there is a horrible odour coming from something directly beneath him.  
The guy who was just having his way with him before, isn't there any longer. Or rather, most of him is gone. There are still some bits lying on the ground there, and they mix in with the soap suds and make dark bubbles that smell nauseautingly like ketchup. Kaname stumbles back to his cell, barely making it there before he is sick all over the floor. The prison doctor proclaims him incapacitated; he stays in bed for a week.  
When he is finally well enough to eat, a visit to the cafeteria spells trouble. He has nowhere to sit. Oddly he is reminded of school; it seems there may be little difference between the two institutions... either way his thoughts and actions are being controlled. Making his way towards a mostly abandoned table in the left corner of the room, he squashes himself all the way to the end, and hopes nobody recognizes him.  
Sadly this isn't good enough for the five guys at the other end of the table. One by one they get up. "Hey! You're the one who killed all those kids, aren't you?"  
"And Tekata-san!"  
"Yeah, he's the one that killed Tekata in the showers!"  
A guard looks up. "Quiet down! A big guy like that doesn't just dissapear! We all know he's loose somewhere and you're all covering for him."  
This isn't good enough. "Liar! He killed him! That bastard there!"  
Kaname keeps his head down and pretends not to hear.  
"I said, hey! Murderer! Your kind isn't allowed to eat at this table, got that? Now why don't you get up and leave?"  
After a moment's deliberation, Takasato stood up. Shakily he takes his lunch tray and---  
--"Too late!" A fork came screaming down into his shoulder just as another man's left hook made connection with the side of his face. The eighteen year old boy let out a scream.  
A crowd forms around them, chanting, "Fight, fight, fight!" But there isn't a fight. Kaname breaks into a blind run as alarms are sounded and guards come charging in with their tazers and batons. Takasato panics as the guards start beating down on prisoners randomly, while leaving the ones that were attacking him alone. He gets up and runs, shutting his eyes, he needs to get away from here, anywhere but here....  
  
When Kaname awoke, he was still in jail, but it wasn't like any jail he recognized. He stands up. Torches lined the walls and rested in metal brackets. The walls and floors are made of grey stone. The floors were made of hard-packed dirt and the high ceilings were made of... clay?  
"Psst... hey, kid!"  
The boy blinked. He felt... different. More complete, somehow. His hand reached up to feel his hair which for some reason had grown to shoulder length. Directly before him was an old man, behind bars--the sort you'd see in an old American style cartoon. "Wh... where am I?"  
"You're here to bust us out, aren't you? Isn't that why you're here?"  
Takasato looked around bewildered at this new place he was in. "Where are we?"  
"Hoo! And here I was thinking I was going senile. But if a li'l whipper-snapper like yeself can't even remember where he is, well, then my memory's sharp as a tack in comparison! This is a prefectural prison in Kou."  
The rest of it went by like a dream. The man explained, there is no ruler and the magistrates are all corrupt, they capture people for any reason at all just so they can claim money from the city treasury for keeping the prisoners. They then leave the prisoners to rot and spend the money on themselves. They can do this because there's no ruler.  
Kaname remarked that this wasn't right, and that he wished to see them all freed.  
A pair of white arms appeared and dropped several keychains by his feet.  
A large dog miraculously took down the guards standing at the door.  
  
The people had all thanked him, and together they'd spirited away on all manners of strange beasts they'd found in the stables outside. The first clue that this was all some sort of dream appeared when the old man he'd saved had offered to share the blue and black striped beast with him. Kaname decided he must be in hospital recieving pain killers for being beaten, there was no way any of this was real.  
The people called him things like saviour, and it made him feel good. It had been a long while since he'd felt good about anything and he couldn't even recall a time when he'd had the acceptance of an entire group. Even if they were outlaws, they didn't seem like the prisoners he'd been with back home. Most of the prisoners had been recent and still seemed like normal people, farmers and family men. Some of the longtime inmates' characters were a little iffy, but they'd sunk into the shadows and slipped away at the first given oppourtunity, while the bulk of the escapees decided to stay together and set up camp.  
Some of the men hunted while the women built a fire, and he was given food to eat. It was some sort of half-cooked beast and the smell of raw flesh made him ill, so he ate very little. He apologized for being rude, which made his kindly hosts laugh.  
It seemed a different sort of place. He was asked about his prison clothes, which seemed oddly clean and crisp to them--they all wore dark coloured rags in varying stages of filthiness.  
Kaname began to realize as the night dragged on that the aches and pains in his legs, the taste of the food in front of him, were all very real. His eyes widened in fear. These nice people then, that were being so kind to him, if they were real--they all could be hurt by his curse. He stays awake that night, and leaves when almost everyone is asleep.  
A dog followed him for several miles. Eventually he turned to face it. It was a tiny little thing, hardly bigger than a rat. He picked the canine up and looked it squarely in the eyes. "Look, everyone that gets close to me dies. It doesn't matter who you are." The dog barked stupidly and licked him on the cheek.  
"Seriously, though. These things... I swear they follow me. Nobody's safe from this curse of mine. There was even this guy... he was a good person and I still wasn't able to stop it...." He shook his head. "I must be crazy, talking to a dog."  
Rain began falling, soaking him through to the bone. It was a good feeling. It meant this other world was real--another chance, maybe, to find a place where he could be alone, where nobody had to come into contact with him. A strange elation overwhelmed him as he began to hallucinate again, he could swear he saw a beautiful woman--with the milk white head and torso of a human being but the body of a panther and a tail like a dragon's, gorgeous and beckoning, eagerly urging him onward into the night. Rather giddily he followed this fair apparition, wondering if this was the afterlife. He paused in his ascent up a cliff and sneezed, tripping among the mud and sharp rocks in his path. He was so tired. He'd gone far enough for a dream. He sank his pale cheek down into the softness of hard rocks and thought, perhaps he would rest here.  
  
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_(A/N: I'd like to thank my only reviewer, Haru-chan, for actually, well, reviewing. Please, people, if you read it, it's your responsibility to let me know what you think, even if it's negative! I'm desperate for feedback of any kind, here! Even if it's "you misspelled a word", or "that's not possible", I can't improve if you don't say anything....)_


End file.
